I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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