She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize