I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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