ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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