Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize