Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize