haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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