Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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