Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize