Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize