Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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