My cat gives me a boner
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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