theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize