Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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