Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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