dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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