I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize