My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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