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The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
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