Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize