isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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