went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize