hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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