i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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