OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize