I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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