I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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