If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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