Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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