I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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