I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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