He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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