I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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