chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize