Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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