Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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