Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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