i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
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I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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