I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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