This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize