I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize