Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize