Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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