The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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