Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize