You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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