my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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