#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like death gave me a hand job
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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