Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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