i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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